


Beauty In Green

by Zombielabs



Series: Happy Thoughts [3]
Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Dissociative Identity Disorder, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hope vs. Despair, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insanity, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-05 04:01:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15162161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zombielabs/pseuds/Zombielabs
Summary: Monika, the most beautiful and popular girl in her school. You would never expect her to fall for a guy like Kyle, someone basic and different. The thing is, he is the type of different that she likes: Someone who is unlike what she sees and deals with on a daily basis.So when he decides to join the Literature Club, her club, she couldn't be more than happy to spend as much time with him as she likes. If only she knew why he was different is to keep his "demons" from affecting everyone he knows and cares. But no matter what, Monika knows she will love him for any difference.The third and final installment of the "Happy Thoughts." No matter what, through all of the fluff and angst; the despair and the troubles; the anger and the different personalities, there will be peace in the Literature Club.





	1. Love Never Seen

Another successful day goes by and life goes on as always. I should feel accomplished and be happy for what I have done. After all, it's been a year since I started the Literature Club and I have enough members to be considered an official club. I have so many great and wonderful friends and two of them are in a relationship. So why do I feel like something is missing?

Maybe it's because Kyle is not in the club.

Kyle, the boy I saw last year in one of my classes. He was different than everyone I ever seen. Different meaning that he wasn't cocky or always trying to be the best or to be know. He was just...normal. Something that I wish I could be besides being popular.

I will admit, being popular has its perks. For one, you are more widely known and you are able to get away with certain things. If you're like me, than it's easy to be able to convince anyone to fo what I ask. Of course, I rarely do that because I'm better than that.

The downside is being hit on every guy that walks past you. People start telling you who you should date and spread rumors on whether you're actually dating someone. Of course, every guy is going to want to date you if you're a girl like me: popular, beautiful, athletic.

Why does things need to be like that? I'm more than capable to do things my way, make my own decisions, and date whoever I want. There is only one guy that I love out of this whole world and that's Kyle.

There is not much I can say about him. For what I see, he is a basic guy. Same attitude, same hairstyle, same warming smile...he is someone that I adore. For what I hear from Sayori, his childhood friend and V.P of my club, is he is a really sweet guy who cares much about people. She never told anyone else besides me and Kyle, but she had depression for the longest time and no one ever knew. She told Kyle one day and from that point on, he didn't leave her side until she was clear from her depression.

 _What a caring, considerable guy. He is surely someone I want to spend the rest of my life with._..

My thoughts are interrupted by a phone call from Sayori. I pick it up, eager to talk to my friend. "Hey-o Sayori. How's it going?" I ask.

"Nothing much. Can't wait for tomorrow. I got some good news. I got Kyle to consider joining the club." Sayori responds. I sit up from my bed immediately.

"Really? You did?" I ask eagerly. She confirms this, giving me a giggly response from that.

_My crush is joining my club! I will get to see him more often, talk to him as much as I like, invite him over to my house..._

"Monika, you there?" Sayori asks, breaking me from my daze. "I was wondering what you were planning on doing?"

"O-Oh yeah. Let's see...you know what? We really don't have to do much. I'm just glad you told me that he is joining. I can't wait to see what he has to bring to the club." I say.

"Don't worry. He is a good guy with a lot of amazing qualities. I'm sure he'll get along with everyone just fine." Sayori replies. "Oh, I have to go. See ya!"

"Bye!" She hangs up. I'm so overwhelmed with joy that I have to tell my family about this. I ran down the stairs to confront Reo and Samantha, my mom and dad. "I have great news guys. Kyle is going to be joining the Literature Club!"

Mom looks up from her newspaper and looks at me. She smiles brightly at me. "Honey, that's great to hear. Is this the same kid that you've been crushing on for the past year?" She asks.

"Don't put it that way Mom. You'll make it awkward." I said.

Dad looks away from the TV and looks at us. "Monika, are you sure this boy is worth it? If you waited for him to say something for a year, what makes you think he will start talking to you now?"

"I waited for you to propose to me for 2 years after we dated for 3. You can't deny Monika something she wants Reo." Mom saids. He looks flustered.

"I-I'm not denying her anything. I support her decision 100%. I just hope that she is sure that he is worth it." Reo says.

_If only you knew just how much he is worth._

"Don't worry honey. You do what you desire. Okay?" Mom saids. I shake my head and she hugs me. After we break, I go upstairs and start writing a poem. I have a whole lot of inspiration from this.

_Hole in Wall_

_It couldn't have been me._  
_See, the direction the spackle protrudes._  
_A noisy neighbor? An angry boyfriend? I'll never know. I wasn't home._  
_I peer inside for a clue._  
_No! I can't see. I reel, blind, like a film left out in the sun._  
_But it's too late. My retinas._  
_Already scorched with a permanent copy of the meaningless image._  
_It's just a little hole. It wasn't too bright._  
_It was too deep._  
_Stretching forever into everything._  
_A hole of infinite choices._  
_I realize now, that I wasn't looking in._  
_I was looking out._  
_And he, on the other side, was looking in._

"Looks good to me." I put my book in my bag and decide to head off to bed. I can't wait for what tomorrow has in store for me.

* * *

I'm out of class to my locker and it's halfway through the day. It seems like time just goes slow when your so excited for something or  _someone._ He really does seem like a sweet guy. I'm sure that-

"Hey hottie."

_Seriously, it's this guy again. Just how many times am I going to have to blow him off?_

I sigh and turn to Henry. He is one of the more popular guys in school, in line with Randy. Both of these guys just can't seem to get the hint that I'm not interested in them.

"Henry, how many times am I going to say this? I'm just not interested in you. Get the hint." I say. I close my locker and start to walk away when he sticks his hand on his locker, blocking me from going any further.

"Baby, don't you see that we are met to be together? It's only right for the most popular teenagers to date. Besides, what is someone else going to provide for you that I can't?" He asks as he puts his hand on my cheek.

"Let's see...manners, kindness, not being a damn creep. That wouldn't be bad." I say. I push him off of me and head to class. I hear him yell out something that sends chills down my spine.

"Alright then. I'll just pick you up after school and we'll discuss this alone. Either way, you are mine!"

I enter my class and sit down. I suddenly see Kyle walk through the door. My heart skips a beat as he sits down somewhere away from me. While class goes on, I see him look at me occasionally, as I do the same.

_Please be different. Be someone I can put my trust into. Because you will see soon just how much I love you._


	2. Just A Girl In Love

Finally, classes are over. Now I can go to the Literature Club knowing that the rest of the day is going to be happy for me and everyone else. Walking to the the club, I meet up with the couple of the club, Natsuki and Yuri. I end up looking at them holding hands, staring into each other's eyes.

It's so weird that last year, they almost despised each other. Me and Sayori tried to make them closer so they can become friends. Eventually, the arguments became less and less, and not as severe. Although, they ended up spending a  _lot_ more time with each other. I never would have expected to walk in on them making out over the teacher desk after school one day. Ever since then, they had been more than open over it, and it's honestly made their lives more happier knowing that no one judges them over what they are.

_Could I ever have that will Kyle? An open relationship with no one judging me or him?_

"Stare much Monika?" Natsuki said. I snap out of my thoughts. I didn't know that I was staring at them for a long time.

"Sorry girls, it's just funny to see how cute you two are." I said. Natsuki looks like she is either blushing or flustered. I know she hates being called cute sometimes, but she really can't deny that they make a cute couple.

"Your right about that Monika." She saids. Looks like she was blushing. "You know, you can have a relationship too. I mean, with you being  _you,_ it should be no problem to make any guy fall into your arms."

"What is that suppose to mean? You make it seem like I will go for just anyone who I lay eyes on. You know I already have a particular interest in someone, right?"

Yuri and Natsuki look at me like they are a bit suprised. "Really Monika? That is great to hear. Have you told him yet?" Yuri asks.

"Not yet. Soon I will after I talk to him more." I respond. We reach the club room and we enter. This place is so peaceful and nice. I set my bag near the teacher's desk and sit down in the chair.

"Wait! Where is Sayori?" Yuri asks.

"She is probably getting someone who is planning on joining the Literature Club." I answered.

"Oh yeah, I forgot that Sayori had texted us about that last night. I had my phone off for some reason." Natsuki saids.

A funny thought came across my mind. "You were at Yuri's, were you?" I asked. Yuri and Natsuki look at each other, blushing very hard. Before any of them could say anything, Sayori opens the door.

"Hey everyone! Kyle is here." Sayori saids. Kyle starts to look around the room and sees the 3 of us. Yuri walks up to Kyle to introduce herself.

"Welcome to The Literature Club. It's a pleasure to meet you." Yuri saids. Natsuki walks up behind her.

"Yuri, who are you talking to babe?" Yuri points to Kyle. "Oh, sorry. I was zoned out in my book I didn't even hear Sayori say you were here. Anyways, I'm Natsuki and this is my girlfriend, Yuri."

_Of course she is not going to admit to knowing he would come here. I need to introduce myself now._

I walk up to Kyle with my best smile and attitude. I hope I impress him. "Hey Kyle. It's nice to see you again." He looks nervous that I even spoke to him.

"H-hi Monika. It's good to see you too." Kyle saids. He sounds so worried that he is doing something wrong. I don't want him to think that at all.

"I'm glad that you decided to come here today." I say. I notice that we are all looking at Kyle now. He looks happy, but I can see a sense of worry coming from him. It's not easy to see, but I can see it.

For the rest of the time, I try my best to know as much as I can from him and his interest in literature. Well, not really his interest in that, but just in him in general. Of course I can't just ask him directly what he likes to do since he came just to join the club.

For what I can tell, he is very intuitive about the types of genres of literature. For some reason, when he talks about the types of things he is interested in, it seems like his type of genre revolves around the phrase "bittersweet." I would never expect him to be the type of person to like to be sad. If there is one thing I have learned is to never judge a book by it's cover.

"Okay everyone. That concludes the meeting. Don't forget to write your poems." I say. I turn to Kyle and smile at him. "Kyle, if you want to join, you can. It would be nice to have you here." He scratches the back of his head. He has a look on his face that makes me think he may not want to join.

_Please Kyle. Please join so I can see you more often. I would be devastated if you were to reject us, especially me._

His face turns to determined. "Okay, I'll join the club." Everyone smiles and brightens up. I want to jump up and down with joy and just hug him for many hours, but I just smile brightly at him. Kyle smiles and waves at everyone as they leave. He gets his bag and starts to walk out the door but I tap him on the shoulder.

I really want to ask him for his number, but I feel like that would be too pushy. "Hey Kyle. Don't forget to write a poem. I can't wait to see it." He nods and smiles, but looks disappointed in a way. I try to not think about it as I start to walk off.

_"Alright then. I'll just pick you up after school and we'll discuss this alone. Either way, you are mine!"_

_That though scares me still. What if he is not kidding and he tries to pick me up on the way home? What am I going to do to protect myself?_

I turn around and start to walk towards Kyle, who hasn't moved form the spot I left him. Looks like he was watching me the whole time. "Kyle, can you walk me home?" I ask.

"S-sure." He saids. I lead the way as Kyle walks beside me. I hope he doesn't notice that for the next 15 minutes, I was looking behind my back occasionally to see if Henry is behind us the whole time. If Kyle wasn't hear, I would probably be scared and run for my life, but having him beside me is reassuring and rather nice feeling.

Finally, we reach my home. He looks at the house with a stunned expression. I will admit, but it's a really nice house. "Thank you Kyle. See you tomorrow." I say as I walk inside. He waves and smiles as I enter my house.

My heart is beating out of my chest. I can't stop but smile for a long time as I lean on the door. "I'm guessing you walked home with Kyle, did you?" My mother said.

I shake myself out of my daze. "O-oh yeah. It was really nice for him to do that." She chuckles by my response. 

"I'm happy that you found someone to have that with. When do you plan on telling him?" She asks.

"I don't know. When is the _right_ time? After all, I've never done this before." I said. She places her hand on my shoulder.

"That's up for you to decide hon. At the end of the day, you need to make sure your happy with him this boy before you do."

I hug her and nod as I make my way upstairs. I can't help but to feel so much joy in the fact that I have a chance to spend more time with Kyle without being judged. I would do it regardless, but I wonder if he would even feel the same way for me.

I enjoyed walking with him, but I hate the reason why I asked him in the first place. Henry need to realize what it means by "I'm not interested in you." I will just let Kyle walk with me so I can talk to him more after the club, while feeling safe that something doesn't happen to me. At least I can I can sleep tonight knowing that tomorrow I'll be spending all afternoon with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. With the other stories that I've written in this series, I have to make sure that the story corresponds with the rest of them. While doing that, I'm trying to make sure that I portray Monika right as if it was the actual game, while adding my own mixture of style into it. Finally, I'm trying to make it seem like Monika's parents are similar to their daughter, so I'm hoping I'm doing that right.
> 
> Also, I will be fixing the chapters up as I go so that it doesn't seem odd or out of place.


	3. Feeling So Warm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay of this chapter. I just found it hard to write the past few days, so hopefully this will change soon

I was worried the whole day since I didn't see Henry the whole day. Usually, I would have to deal with him trying to hit on me, but he was nowhere to be found today. It's as if he didn't even exist today since no one talked about him. In a way, I was so relieved that I didn't have to deal with him. So coming into the club was more than relaxing to say the least.

I enter the clubroom and wait for everyone else to join. If I'm correct, Yuri and Natsuki should enter first and then Sayori and lastly, Kyle. It seems like my predictions are true as the couple and my V.P came through the door.

When Kyle walked through the door, I could contain my excitement. I walk up to him first and greet him. "Hey Kyle, you came. Glad you didn't run off on us." I say teasingly.

In a way, he has a saddened look on his face but is quickly overcame by a warm smile. "Don't worry. Even though I may not be quite used to this, I always keep my promise." Hearing him say that makes me smile as I walk away from him to look at some paperwork on the desk.

While looking at all the papers, I see Yuri and Natsuki approaching Kyle. "I hope this is not overwhelming of a commitment for you. Making you dive headfirst into literature when your not accustomed to it." Yuri saids.

"Don't worry Kyle. I'm sure you'll be just fine here. It's not as hard as you think." Yuri said with a smile. They nod as Kyle just smiles. 

_Does he feel uneasy? Maybe I should get him out of here for something. I can talk to him in private._

As Kyle sets down his bag, I get up and walk to him. "Hey Kyle, I'm getting some supplies for the club. Can you come with me?" I ask.

"Yeah sure." He replies. We walk out the room and I lead the way. I feel like I should break the tension so I turn to him and speak.

"Man, the club is truly something special. It's only been around for half a year, everyone loves it here. I probably wouldn't be the person that I would be today without them." I say.

"That is a nice thing to have. After all, having people to talk to is a nice thing, especially when they don't fake their conversations because they don't find you interesting." He says.

_That sounds so lonely. He has us now to talk to now, so he should have nothing to worry about._

 

"You say that like you never talk to anyone."

"It's because I'm unpopular. You know that." Kyle says. Just because he is unpopular, doesn't mean that he can't talk to anyone.

There is an awkward silence in the air, but we finally reach the room. I look in the closet and start picking things out. "Here, hold these, will you?" He takes them and there is silence in the room again. I wonder what he is thinking.

"So I'm suprised that someone like you doesn't have a boyfriend or anything like that. Why is that? You know every man here wants to date you."

_Every man you say?_

I look at him with a smile. "If every man wants to date me, that must mean you want to as well." He looks like he is wordless. It's honestly kinda cute. I let out a small laugh. "I'm just teasing."

I think I hear Kyle mumble something under his breath. "But that wouldn't be a bad thing."

"What was that?" I ask. 

"N-nothing." He saids. We don't say anything else, but I do think about that. Does he really feel the same way as I do? 

As we enter the club room, Kyle turns to me. "Hey, I'll be back. I got to do something real quick." I gave him a smile and nodded. As he left, I felt a bit disheartened that he was gone.

"Hey Monika, everything alright?" Sayori asked as she approached me.

I sigh. "Yeah, everything is fine."

Sayori chuckles. "You like Kyle and you don't know how to tell him, right?"

Hearing Sayori say that blows my mind and makes me flustered. "H-how do you know that?" She sits down beside me.

"It's easy to spot out things like this. I wondered why you sounded so excited to hear that  _Kyle_  was joining. Then you tried to make sure that you could learn so much about him when he came in. I found it pretty cute to see you so fond of him."

I'm probably blushing so hard right now. It's like I lost my personality and now I'm trying to stay confident but it's failing. "I-i-its nothing like that. It's just..." I'm at a lost of words, so I sigh. "He has something special about him that i don't see in most guys."

"I know." Sayori said. "What do you think I was writing?" She shows me her paper which looks like a poem. That reminds me...

"Okay everyone. It's time to share poems." I say out loud. I look at Sayori's poem in my hand. It looks like she wrote about an angel falling in love with a person full of empathy and compassion. I can see she wrote this about me and Kyle. "You really think I'll have a chance with him?"

"Monika, I have no doubt you will. Knowing him and you, it will work out perfectly." Sayori said. Hearing her be so reassuring makes me feel more confident now.

I wait around for Kyle after showing everyone else my poem to them. He comes back and looks around and walks to me. "Sorry for taking so long. I'm...just not feeling well."

_Not feeling well? What is wrong with him? I wonder if I can do anything to help him._

"It's fine. You still have time to share with me." I tell him. He hands me his poem and I read it.

_Me and Him_

_I am normal and kind_  
_He is dark and right._  
_I am told to keep to myself_  
_He tells me all night._

 _We are nothing alike_  
_Yet we are the same._  
_I can't escape this faith_  
_I am him and he is me._

_This is honestly a bit dark. Maybe he is just experimenting on what to write, but it is good._

"It's really good. I like idea of symbolism in it." I say. He smiles in a way that makes me feel warm. I feel ever more confident as I hand him my poem as well. He takes it and reads it for a minute.

"I guess you like freeform writing. Sorry, I'm not the best at giving advice. But I do like the idea you had as of what you were trying to convey." I can't help but smile and look away. I'm blushing so much right now.

"That's sweet to hear from you." I turn and see everyone looking at me and him. I have to get everyone leave and do their own thing. "Okay everyone. It's time to end the club meeting."

Everyone leaves and I lock the door as I see Kyle walking down the hall. I go up to him and get his attention. "Hey Kyle, can you walk with me again?" I ask. He nods and we make our way back to my house.

On the way there, I mainly do the talking. I want to know more about Kyle, but it seems like he is more comfortable with me talking about me. "Hey Monika." I look at him. "You never answered my question earlier."

"Oh yeah. Well...I have a interest in some boy, but I really don't know how to tell him." I feel like I just lost all of my confidence by saying that. Kyle puts his hand on my shoulder, which feels comforting to the touch.

"Monika, I'm sure that you will be fine. Can you tell me about him?" He asks.

 _I really wasn't really hoping to answer that. I guess I can try to answer in a way that doesn't make it sound ob_ _vious._

"He is kind, gentle, someone that can get along with just anyone. He is always happy but he always doubts himself. I...I think I may be falling in love with him." I hope that wasn't too much.

He smiles. "That is very sweet to hear that. I'm sure he may have a crush on you so you won't have to worry about it." I smile back.

"Thank you." We continue walking until we reach my house. "Kyle, it's nice that you are willing to do this. Not only walk me home, but that you joined the club. I really am grateful." I can see he is faintly blushing.

"Have a good day." He says as I walk into my house. I enter and feel so giggly. I walk into my kitchen and see my dad cooking something.

"Hey honey. You seem exceptionally happy today. What happened today?" He asks.

"Kyle liked my poem that I wrote for him. He talks so sweetly and is so kind." I say. He chuckles a bit.

"If he is this kind, then I may want him to come over here for dinner tomorrow." My nerves suddenly go to whack.

"W-what? Invite him h-here?" I ask. Dad smiles at me.

"What's wrong with you inviting him here? I just want to get to know him better myself. I'm sure that it's not a big deal." He said.

"I-I guess it wouldn't hurt too much." I respond. Dad keeps on smiling.

"I'm sure everything will be just fine." After that, nothing really happened after that. I just talked to my family and thought about Kyle coming over.

_What will he do when he is in my home? How will he be? He is quite the charmer when it comes to me, so maybe that will brush off onto them._


	4. The Way He Is

Something isn't right. I haven't seen Kyle all day. Apparently, neither has Sayori. I hope he is okay and he will be in the club later. I want to be able to ask him if he will come over to my home. 

It'slunch time and I decided to go to my locker. I suddenly see Henry standing right beside me. "Hey hottie." I roll my eyes.

"Do you have anyone else to bother or hit on? Get the hint Henry. I'm not interested in you." I said. I try to walk away when he grabs my wrist. He holds onto it with a tight grip.

"So you don't have an interest in me, but for some bum named Kyle? That boy who walks you to your house? He isn't the one for you and you know it." He said. The tone in his voice is scaring me.

"I can choose who I want to be with. And it sounds like you have been stalking me. I may have to tell the cops about that." He pulls me close to him.

"You would do that to me? I want you and only you." He said. I get carried away with my next statement.

"It would have to take more than one of you to ever force me to be with you." With my free hand, I slap him in the face as hard as I can, making him let go of my wrist.

Hs chuckles a bit. "That can be arranged. Have a good day." He walks off with his hand on his face. The rest of the day I spend just worrying. I can't think clearly, so before I enter the clubroom, I go to the music room, which is always empty after school. I play a few notes for a few minutes while I think of something to play. Suddenly, I get an idea of a new song about my feelings. I hope this turns out good. 

* * *

 

_Wise men say only fools rush in_  
_But I can't help falling in love with you_

_Shall I stay?_  
_Would it be a sin_  
_If I can't help falling in love with you?_  

_Like a river flows surely to the sea_  
_Darling so it goes_  
_Some things are meant to be_  
_Take my hand, take my whole life too_  
_For I can't help falling in love with you_  
_For I can't help falling in love with you_

* * *

 

_That was...so unexpected that I would sing like that. I think Kyle would love this song if I was to play this for him._

With that, I exit and head back into the clubroom. When I get there, I see Kyle in the room, but he is sleeping. He suddenly jolts out of his sleep. I walk up to him, worried that something may have happened.

"Hey Kyle, is everything alright? You look sad." I ask.

"I'm fine, I guess. I just am a little upset with myself at the moment." He replies. 

_Sad? Why would he be sad? With himself out of all things?_

I pull up a chair and sit right in front of him. I rest my elbows on the desk and rest my head on my hands. "Well you can always tell me anything. I won't judge." I tell him as I stare at his gentle eyes.

"I can't seem to gain some courage to tell his girl that I like her." He says. I get excited to hear more.

"You like someone? Well now I want to know. Who is it? Is it someone I know?" I ask eagerly. I really want to know who he likes. If it's not me, I will help him be happy no matter what.

"Well, she is someone you know. Someone who is outgoing, smart, beautiful, her personality is sweet. She is someone I can just tell about anything and I know I won't be a laughing stock." He smiles at me.

_That sounds so touching. It feels like I can relate to her really well. I hope he is talking about me._

I reach out and grab one of his hands without him noticing. "Kyle, I'm sure someone like you has a chance with her. Don't be afraid to tell her how you truly feel." I tell him. He suddenly notices that I have one of his hands. I would think he would say something about it, but he doesn't. I get lost in my thoughts.

_His touch feels so warm. His gaze seems to be everlasting looking at me. I want to be with him so much. Even if he doesn't know it, the little bit he does is enough to brighten my day. His words are so gentle when he speaks to me. I don't want this feeling to go away Kyle. Please._

"Uh Monika, it's time to share poems." Yuri saids. I snap out of my daze and suddenly lose my feeling. I know Yuri doesn't know about my feelings for Kyle, so I can't get mad at her for that.

"Yeah, it is. Ok eveyone! It's time to share poems." I go to my bag and start to get my poem out. I look up to see Kyle approaching me. He smiles and hands me his poem.

_Beauty of Green_

_We all feel pain_  
_A feeling we can relate._  
_Rainclouds float over me and rain_  
_Due to problems I create._

_We all feel love_  
_A feeling so great._  
_When my life is rough_  
_Her smile is all so sweet._

_He fills me with hate_  
_I can only feel sad._  
_I am able to push everyone away great_  
_So later they don't get mad._

_Can I be free of this terrain_  
_That haunts me with rage?_  
_I can only see the beauty of green_  
_It keeps him in his cage._

_This poem is so...touchy. "Only see the beauty of green?" He couldn't mean me by any chance. His way of words is so different, even from Yuri. I must say, I admire it._

I read it twice to get more of an understanding of it. It seems like he is trying to express that he feels pain, but a girl makes it all worth it. I don't know what he means by "he", but it sounds like this person causes him a lot of grief and this girl seems to hold that person back.

_Whoever she is must have a lot of influence over him._

"Kyle, this poem is so sweet. I can tell you really like this girl. Although, it sounds like you describe me a whole lot." I say.

"Well it's easier to write when I'm thinking about you." As soon as he says that, he covers his mouth as if he wasn't thinking about what he said. My heart slipped a beat when he said that. "S-sorry, I haven't been sleeping well recently."

I am blushing so hard right now that I pull a Yuri by hiding my face with my hair. I can't help but smile by how sweet that sounded. I don't want him to feel bad for saying that however, so I guess I'll lie and hope he doesn't notice.

"It's fine Kyle. No big deal. After all, people write about me a lot." I say as I smile at him. "Well, do you want to read mine?" He smiles back and takes my poem.

The poem I written is basically a continuation of my last one, even if I didn't title it. I honestly changed it in my way so that he may like it since it's similar to his preferred writing style but still my way of writing.

"Monika, this is really good. This sounds like you are really interested in the guy you like. I'm sure he is a great person. He'll probably confess to you one day. Just give it time." He says.

_I'll give you time. I just hope in the end, you will be happy with me. You mean so much to me._

I feel so happy right now that it may be impossible for me to hide. "I hope he does too." 

He gives me back my poem and gives me a confused look. "Uh, Monika?" I look down and see I still have his poem. I like it so much I don't ever want to let it go.

"I would...like to keep it. I just..." I can't finish my sentence. I just want to have it because it means so much to me.

"Monika, I'll give it to you when I walk you home today. Okay?" He asks. So he will give me? I give him my most genuine smile I can. I hand him back his poem and go show everyone my poem.

After about 10 minutes, it is time to end the club meeting. "Okay everyone. That's the end of the meeting. Remember, we still have our festival event we got to do. So prepare for it." I say. Everyone nods and we head out. When we leave the room, Kyle stops me and hands me his poem like promised.

Kyle talks a little bit while we walk down the street but he mainly let's me do most of the talking. He looks at me with a questioning look. "Hey Monika, what are we doing for the festival? I was never told about that." 

"Oh, no one told you?" He shakes his head.  "We are taking poems that we write and we are reciting it to a group of people. I hope that's okay with you. If not, I understand." 

In a way, I really want him to do something, especially with me. I think I may either tell him the day of the festival or the day before the festival. No matter what, I want him to know about my feelings for him. 

"Yeah, I'll do it. After all, I'm part of the club. It's only fair if I partake in it too." He saids. I beam with excitement.

"You really will?" He shakes his head, determined. "Yay!!" I get so caught up in my excitement that I hug him. While he feels so warm, I can see how embarrassing it must be for him. "Oh, sorry. I got a little excited."

"It's no problem. It felt...nice actually." He says. I wish I didn't let go if that was the case. We continue to walk to my house. We reach my house but before he can say anything else, I took at him.

"Kyle, would you...like to come in? For a while?" He looks shocked. I know that it must be a weird day for him, but I hope he doesn't refuse.

"Of course I would." I smile and let him in my house.  I hope this turns out well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not going to lie here, but I am honestly losing a bit of motivation to even write out this story. I add on many chapters throughout the day. While I am planning on finishing this, I am already planning another fanfiction of this fathom. 
> 
> While I'm not going to copy their way of writing and idea's, I have been heavily by Rumbellestiltskin and rosyastronaut. If you haven't heard of these two people, then I must say that there is something wrong with you and you need to check them out ASAP.
> 
> Anyway, in my own personal perspective of these two, I feel as if I should give my own personal opinion about how they write.
> 
> Rumbellestiltskin: I love the way that she is able to capture raw emotions from characters and use them to their absolute advantage. She definitely deserves to have the most Kudo-ed story in this fathom, which is "Snow." She is also kind of the reason I even got into writing fanfiction to start with.
> 
> rosyastronaut: I love the way that she able to hit home with the style of the game with the feelings and the vibes that are put out in her current fanfiction she is writing. Her writing method has a way of throwing me in a maze of possible outcomes that I can't seem to find my way through.
> 
> Like I said, this is my way of perceiving them and I have a feeling that they may never see this, but in the offchance that they do, thanks for what you have done for me, even if you think you haven't done anything.
> 
> In a way of saying thanks, my next fanfiction is something that I hope I can nail perfectly. I will probably struggle, but that's the fun in writing for me. I hope you two continue with what you are doing.
> 
> Here are their stories links.
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/13545471/chapters/31077966
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/14909096/chapters/34574717


	5. Something Is Wrong

I walk to the kitchen immediately to see my parents in there talking. They smile at me. "Hey guys, do me a favor and try to not Kyle uncomfortable? He's coming in now."

"Honey, why would we try to do that? You must be so nervous right now." Mom said.

"You have no idea." I was going to say something else, but Kyle walked in. I walk over to him to introduce him. "So guys, this is my newest club member and best friend, Kyle. Kyle, this is my father, Reo, and this is my mother, Samantha." He waves and smiles at them.

"Monika, this is your friend you been talking about? He is really sweet." Mom said. "What do you think hon?"

He looks at Kyle. "Looks like a nice kid." Kyle must be so nervous right now since he hasn't even said a thing. 

"So Kyle, we are making dinner. Do you plan on staying?" Mom asks. I see Kyle was going to say something, but I interrupted him in my excitement.

"Yes he is. Right?" I look at him, wondering if he really will stay over just for a little bit. 

"Sure I will." He said. In a way, I'm so happy that he is here, but I'm also nervous because I have no idea what will happen tonight. I walk upstairs to try to relieve my head and change.

I look through the closet, trying to find something that I like. I finally found my best outfit, which I guess I would describe as "a casual outfit." Putting it on, I can't help but smile. "I think he will like this."

I walk downstairs and as soon as I do, Kyle looks up at me. He has a surprised look on his face. I would guess so since he never seen me in anything else but my school outfit. I see he was going to say something, but Mom interrupted. "Dinner is done."

He continues to stay silent as we head into the kitchen. Before we eat, we always pray, do tonight was no exception. Without him noticing, I peak and see Kyle isn't praying. I can also see the lack of emotion on his face. It pinches my heart to see Kyle looking like that.

_What is wrong with him? Why does he look like he is dead? Did something happen?_

We stop praying and eat. I see Kyle change his face almost instantly, but I can still see he is sad in some way. I try not to think about it as I talk to my family. After a minute or two, I look back at Kyle, who still hasn't touched his food.

"Kyle, is everything alright?" I ask. He looks at me and back down, realizing why I'm asking.

"Yeah I'm fine." He takes a fork and takes a bite. His expression seems to change again. He takes another bite. And another. And another. He is eating so fast, its scaring me. He looks as if he hasn't ate in days.

He stops and looks around as I see they both have a suprised expression. While I am the same, I'm more worried than anything. "S-sorry. I...have to go use the bathroom." Before I can ask anything, he gets up and walks to the bathroom.

Mom and Dad look at each other and at me. "Honey, is he alright? That wasn't normal." Mom asks.

"I don't know Mom. He doesn't say much about himself. The only way I actually know _anything_ about him is because of his poems. The way they are is just so...dark, even more than Yuri." I get my plate and Kyle's and put them in the sink. 

I then head into the living room and reach inside my bag. Dad comes in and sits on the couch. I get his poem and hand it to him to let him see it. Mom starts doing dishes and in a couple minutes, Kyle walks in and starts helping my Mom.

"Monika, there is something wrong with him. Who is this 'he?' And why does this person sound like it's something Kyle deals with on a daily basis?" He asks me.

"What do you mean?" I ask him.

"Despite what he just did, has he done anything unusual?"

"No, just sometimes he just looks sad, but I rarely see that. He is usually happy most of the time."

He sighs. "He is not happy. He is putting on a show so he doesn't worry you. I don't know why." I was going to say something until I heard Kyle and Mom speaking. Dad looks at the both of them also.

"She can't like me. That's not good." He saids.

"Why do you say that? It's not a bad thing." Mom said with a concerned look. She speaks at the both of us for a split second, noticing we hear them.

"She can't like a deadbeat. She's too good for that. I can't drag her down with me. She deserves better than someone who is insane and depressed." Kyle stops talking as he realizes that everyone is listening and worried.

_Insane? Depressed? Why are you saying those things? Your wrong Kyle. You're all I want and need. Don't think less when I think more of you._

Kyle puts his hands on his head and starts shaking it. "Shut. Up. NOW!" Without a moment of hesitation, he runs out the front door fast. We make our way to the door fast, looking out it as he has made fair distance away from it. "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!"

Mom and Dad have worried looks on their faces as they look at me. "What is going on? What is wrong with him?" 

"I don't know, but I have to try to help." Beofre they can protest, I start to run out to the road and make my way up the street. I need to know what is going on.


	6. He Is All I Think Of

I make my down the sidewalk that is brightly lit. I don't see Kyle anywhere. I'm honestly scared for him right now. What is happening to him? 

I must have been looking for 5 minutes now. Why am I even looking for him? He may have went home because of his event. I just didn't want to take a chance and leave him to suffer.

I pull out my phone and call Sayori. It rings for a couple times before she answers. "H-hello?"

"Hey Sayori, it's Monika. Listen, I need to ask you a question and don't think any different of me." I say.

"Why would I? I'm sure it will be fine." She saids.

"I just need you to do something for me." I take a deep breath before speaking. "I need you to talk to Kyle tomorrow after the club meeting. There is something wrong with him and I can't find him or even call him."

"What do you mean something is wrong with him?" She asks, worried. 

"I don't know and that's why I need you to talk to him. It's important." Knowing Sayori, she agrees to it, as well as giving me his number and address. She hangs up. "At least she will know more than me."

I start to walk off when I'm stopped by a car horn. I turn around and see Henry and a few other kids get out. "Hey beautiful. What are you doing out here all by  _yourself_?" Henry said.

"Who said I was alone? And what is that smell of alcohol?" I ask. I see him stumbling towards me.

"I had jusssst a little bit. I just want you to come with me." He suddenly grabs my wrist. I try to pull back, but his grip tightens. 

"I told you I like Kyle, not you. So let go of me." I pull my hand back forcefully. Someone tries to grab me again, but I slap him. "Don't touch me."

"Oh don't worry. Just come with us Monika. Don't worry about Kyle." Henry said. He grabs me again and starts to pull me.

 _"_ I wouldn't do that buds." I hear a voice say behind me. It's familiar, but...dark. "After all, it may cost you." I turn around and see a silhouette of a male with a cane, trench coat and a top hat. The only thing I see visible is his crimson red eyes. 

"Fuck off bud. I wouldn't want to have to kill you." Henry said. The man laughs sinisterly.

"Kill me? You can't kill Sebastian!" He says. His friends start to run towards him to fight him, but he takes them all out, one by one. He fights so brutally that the kids will probably need to be hospitalized afterwards. 

Henry throws me to the ground and proceeds to run towards him and tries to fight him. He lasts longer than the rest, but by the end, the man grabs him by the collar. "You should have listened to me." He headbutts him and I hear something break. In the little light I have, I see who it is as he grins.

_Kyle? Is that you?_

I get up to try to confront this person, but by the time that I get up, he runs off. I am left there around a bunch of drunk, beat-up kids. I hear some of them groan terribly. So scared and full of adrenaline, I run back to my house. I reach it so fast by my fright.

I enter the house and slam the door shut. Mom and Dad are still awake as they sit in their chairs. They see the fright in my eyes and they instantly comfort me.

"Monika, what the hell happened?" Dad asked. He gasps as he sees my wrist, still reddened by Henry. "Did Kyle hurt you? I swear to God, I will-"

"No, he didn't. Some kids lead by Henry, another kid from school, were drunk and tried to take me in their car. Someone named Sebastian came and attacked them. They may end up being hospitalized by him because I heard him crack Henry's skull by a headbutt."

Mom gasps. "Monika, did you see who it is? We have to call the police." She asks. 

"I only saw a little bit, noticeably his crimson red eyes. I saw a little bit of his face, but...it was Kyle. It looked like him, but he didn't act or sound like him." Mom was in the process of pulling out her phone when she stopped when I said I think I saw Kyle.

"What do you mean? I only know him for a hour or two, and I can tell he isn't a fighter, let alone brutal like that. Plus, there is no way someone has those color eyes. Maybe you were distressed by what happened earlier."

"I know what I saw!" I yell. I didn't mean to be that loud, but I was getting emotional by all of this. "S-sorry Mom."

She puts her hand on my shoulder. "It's okay honey. I understand you must be so stressed out right now. I'll tell you what: just go to sleep and we will handle this." She gives me a hug before I walk off upstairs.

* * *

I must have only gotten a few hours worth of sleep last night. I had so many emotions going through me that I didn't walk to school with the rest of the club. When it was just the 4 of us, we would do that almost every day. Today, I just woke up late for the first time in many years. I couldn't stop thinking about what Kyle said and what happened later on.

_Why did he say that he was insane? Why did he call himself Sebastian and was wearing that outfit? How was he able to beat down some drunk jocks? Why am I so fixated on Kyle? Just how much am I going to think about him? I guess that is what love is: being so fixated on someone that you feel so much for them._

I don't know what to do, so I can only go to school and figure out form there. At least, that was what I was thinking about.

When I got to school, all everyone talked about was about last nights incident. Many people asked me what happened and I told them the same thing: they got beat down by someone I didn't know. They told me that some of them got hospitalized, one is paralyzed and Henry got put into a coma.

I didn't see Kyle throughout the day, yet Sayori said he walked with them and he was definitely different from usual. She said she was going to talk to him after school.

Like yesterday, I went into the music room. I decide to play the same song I did yesterday. I just want to have a calm mind when I get to the club. I need to talk to Kyle and the rest of them. More of less, I need to have a talk with Kyle alone. I need to know what he is feeling and I need for him to know how I truly feel.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was a bit of a challenge to write, considering having to write what her parents think of what has happened. Titling this was also difficult, considering I make these titles on the theme of the chapter, but this one was more of less all over the place, so this was all I could think of.


	7. The Confession.

I enter the club room and see everyone but Kyle here. Everyone notices me and walk up towards me. Sayori being her usual self gives me a huge hug. "I'm so sorry about last night. Your safe now, so you have nothing to worry about."

I chuckle. "Thanks Sayori. You don't need to worry about me. When you get home, you need to talk to Kyle." I turn and look at Yuri and Natsuki.

"Kyle was rather...different today. He didn't seem to be the same as yesterday. What happened Monika?" Yuri asks.

"I don't even know myself. He was all fine, but something must have set him off." As I'm talking, I hear the door open and close, so I can only assume that Kyle must have walked in. For now, I just need you guys to do what you all planned to do. Okay?"

"Monika, will you be alright? I care about you and I need to know if you will be happy with or without Kyle. Not to be mean, but you do matter to me." Natsuki said.

I turn and look at Kyle, who is writing something down. I look back at Natsuki. "If worst comes to worst, I will be fine. I just don't want it to be that way." I whisper to Natsuki. She hugs me and leaves with her girlfriend. Sayori follows up behind her.

I turn and look back at Kyle, seeing him look at his paper. I take a deep breath and gather my thoughts.

_I have to tell him how I feel. If I do, maybe he will tell me what is wrong with him. I care so much that I am sad to see him like this._

I walk up to him. "Kyle, can I talk to you?" He looks up at me.

"Y-yeah sure." He gets up and looks around him. "Where did everyone go?"

"I sent them out on what they were suppose to do this weekend." I reply. I'm scared of what will happen, but I have to do this. "Kyle, you have been such a great person to me. You just know how to make me smile no matter what. It hurts me to know you are in pain."

I grab one of his hands and interlock it with mine. "I want to help you in any way I can. I want to be there for you no matter what." He has a pained expression on his face. I'm guessing he knows what happened last night and is guilty of it.

"Why? You deserve to live a happy life with your family, worry about normal teenage things. You don't need to worry about some trashy person like me. You deserve better than me." He replies.

It feels like needles going through my heart hearing him say that. Does he not know what impact he has on others? "Deserve better than someone who helps others? Kyle, there is no one here like you." I say.

"Your right. Everyone else is normal and happy." I can feel my emotions flowing through me. I feel like any second now, I may cry. 

"Not that. There is no one like you that can make others feel great about themselves. You care so much for people that you forget about you. You always make sure that everyone gets what they want, but you don't want anything at all."

I just want him to see how much I care. Every time I see him in pain, I feel more sad for him. I want to do everything I can to help him out.

"I want everyone to be happy. I don't want them to waste their time on me. It's never worth it and you can't benefit from me." He says.

With my emotions getting the best of me, I hug him and bury my head into his shoulder. I am so sad that the person I care for is hurting that I end up crying. I want this to end for him.

"Kyle, your wrong. Your wrong about that all. You deserve to be happy. I deserve to be happy with someone like you. I want that with you Kyle. I...I love you Kyle."

He immediately starts to cry as well. I can feel just how much pain he is in because of how hard he is crying. After a few minutes, we both calm down but don't let go.

"I'm... I'm so sorry to hurt you. I never wanted you to feel what I feel, or deal with my problems. I did that because I love you too. Please, let me talk to you about this Saturday. I'll explain it all." He said.

_So I told him that I love him, only for him to feel the same way. I couldn't be any more happy than now. I don't want it to end, but I have to let him talk to Sayori._

I look at him and nod. When I let him go, I notice the paper on the desk is actually a poem. I pick it up and read it. 

_How I Feel_

_I can watch you every day_  
_Hear you sing till the end of time._  
_Your smile is all that I can pay_  
_All I want is for you to be mine._

 _I have my issues left at bay_  
_Which I hide so you can be safe._  
_But I know you love me every day_  
_So I'm left with feeling great._

 _If I told you my secrets_  
_Would you still feel the same?_  
_If I show you how I want to be_  
_Would you risk all your fame?_

 _I never felt this way before_  
_Until I came across you._  
_When I can't feel ever more_  
_I know that I will always love you._

_This is...I can't even believe that he wrote this. I...I have to thank him the only way I want to._

I put the poem down and walk up to him. "I love you so much Kyle." Following my emotions, I kiss him. I can feel my heart flutter fomrom he great this feels.

I try to back up since I felt like he wasn't ready for something like this, only to be taken aback as he pulls me in for a longer kiss. I'm suprised by how well of a kisser he is, as well as his assertiveness.

We break away and I can feel my face burning up from by blushing. "Kyle, that was...I can't even describe it." He smiles as he hugs me. 

"I'll see you Saturday." He said. I smile and wave at him as he walks out the room. When he leaves, I sit down on the desk, taking in what has happened. I am suprised that happened the way it did.

I look at the poem and feel my heart pound from it. This was his confession to me, even though he told me. I put it in my bag and walk home from school.

When I enter, Mom and Dad was sitting in the living room. I walk in and smile at them. "So, how was school today?" Dad asks.

"Eventful, but I'm happy that it turned out the way he did. I told Kyle how I felt for him and he told me he felt the same." I said. They looked genuinely happy.

"So what does that make you guys?" Mom asked. 

"I don't know yet. I'm suppose to talk to him tomorrow because he wanted to explain what was wrong with him." I explained.

"Well, what do you want?" Dad asked.

"I want us to be a couple. So badly." I replied. Mom walked up to me and put a hand on my shoulder.

"I hope everything will be okay with him. You deserve to be happy with someone like him." Mom hugs me and let's me leave the living room. I go upstairs and lay on my bed.

After 2 hours, Sayori calls me. "Hey Sayori, how are you?" I ask. She sighs.

"I'm fine. I'm just letting you know that I just left Kyle's house. That was...rather sad to hear what was wrong with him. I'm not going to say anything since you said you were going to talk to him tomorrow. He mentioned something about a guy named Sebastian."

I sit up from my bed. "What about this person Sebastian? What does he have to do with Kyle?" I ask.

"I don't know what he was talking about when he said he was a made up personality. How is that even possible?" She asked. 

"I...I don't know. I'll have to ask him tomorrow. Thank you for doing that." I say. We hang up and I'm left there feeling confused.

_That person is another personality of Kyle? What has happened to him for him to make such a person? I hope he doesn't do anything stupid._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The way I had this end was around the time Kyle tried to kill himself. I can only say that Saturday is going to be rough for Monika and him.


	8. Truth Leaves Scars

I woke up around 9 and got myself ready. I don't know what this is going to turn out, but I know for sure that my way of seeing him will not change. I want him to just let me help him in any way I can. As soon as I leave, I text Kyle and save his number in my contacts. 

_Hey, it's Monika. Sayori gave me your phone number since I forgot to get it yesterday. Hahaha! Anyways, I'll be over at your house in half an hour._

I am still wearing the same outfit I decided to put on Thursday. I can't lie when I say that I was worried that those guys were going to come back again. I never felt so afraid in my life when I was almost kidnapped by some drunk kids. Those glowing red eyes from...whoever that was still is clear in my eyes.

After a little while, I arrive at Kyle's house. I knock on his door and wait a few seconds before he comes and opens the door. He opens the door and looks at me with a stunned expression. "Hey. May I come in?" I ask. 

He doesn't say anything as he steps aside and let's me in. I sit on the couch he has and watch him sit across from me, looking at the floor. I don't know if he is ready to do this, but I need to know. "So...where do we start?" He asks. 

I look at him and see this is going to be painful to talk about. "I guess with what is actually happening. From the start." I respond. He sighs as he begins to speak. 

"I guess this started years ago, still in elementary school. My family wasn't exactly the one to show me any type of love in the right way, so I started to have really bad depression. The fact I didn't have friends surely made it worst. When my parents left a year later, it was when I can say I actually had depression.

"I tried to do many things to deal with it. Eventually, I made up another personality of me. Someone who was twisted and evil, can get away with their problems: Sebastian. Even though I tried to cope, he only made it worst.

"I tried to push people away so I didn't hurt them. Even though I pushed them away, I couldn't do that with Sayori. Hell, I even helped her with her depression. This kept going on and on till recently.

"I thought being here would make me cope better, but the voices in my head...it made it worst. I started to have build up pressure and I couldn't escape it. Please, don't hate me for this next bit."

I look at him with saddened eyes, but nod. He starts to roll up his sleeves and I gasp at why he was. All over his arms are cut marks all over his arms. I can already feel myself starting to break down in sadness. Kyle, why? Why would you do that?" I ask.

"Because it was so overwhelming. The neverending voices in my head, it nearly broke my psyche. I cared about you and the club so much. You are the only group of people that show any warming emotion for me." I see tears starting to fall from his face. "But I ruined that and showed you how psychotic I really am."

He finally starts crying after all of that. I can only watch as the boy I love expose his weakness to me and only because he tried to keep to himself and not worry anyone else.

_I can't imagine all the worries you have been through, but I truly feel sorry for you. All I ever wanted was to find someone different, but I found something better: you. Who needs different when I have you?_

_I can only see the amount of pain you have been through, but that doesn't have to be something you have to face alone. I want to be able to help you as much as I can because I truly love you._

I get up form the couch and walk over to Kyle and hug him. He seems suprised by the fact I hugged him. I want him to know how much I care, so I'll say what I feel. It's the best that I can do for now. 

"Kyle, why would think that about yourself? I don't think that about you at all. The first time I saw you, I feel immediately for you. I saw something in you that I never seen in anyone else: someone with kind intentions and wouldn't see me for the person I appear as. I love you, no matter what. I will accept any of your burdens."

He sits there for a little bit before returning my hug. "I love you so much. I would do anything to make sure that you are still happy. There is nothing that I wouldn't do to see that beautiful smile on your face every day."

I blush a little bit and smile as I look at him. "So, what does this make us exactly? Because I know what I want." I ask.

"I rather show you what I want us to be." He puts his face closer to mine. I do the same until our lips meet. His way with words and his actions have a way to get me addicted to his kiss. There is nothing that I would do to just have this feeling every day.

When we break, I let out a content moan. That felt so...beautiful. "Does that answer your question?" He asks.

I smile at him. "Yes it does. We're a couple now. I'm so happy right now." I am so happy that I don't know what to do. "So, what happens now?" He thinks for a minute and responds.

 "I think it's best if I give your family a proper apology for what they saw a couple days ago. Maybe try that again?" He asks.

"I think that would be great. Should we get going then?" I ask. He nods as I text my parents to let them know what we are doing. We leave holding hands as we make our way down the street. On the way there, I can see him take glances at me with a smile. He must be thinking the same thing that I'm thinking: this is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even if I got this out on time, I would apologize for not getting it out sooner. I have been prewriting another story that I will be working on right after this one.
> 
> I want to give out a chapter dedicated to the theme of it, but I don't want to spoil the whole vibe of the story, so I am still wondering if I should or not. Let me know if you want to see this or just leave it until I finish this.
> 
> In the meantime, what would be a good title:  
> Doki-Doki Literature Club: Reborn Or Club Of Hell?


	9. Teaser

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to make a teaser of my next story. It was more difficult than I intended it to be because I had so many ideas on how I wanted to make this story. Nonetheless, I stuck with this way that I feel will be great.

Natsuki stormed out the clubroom in anger. She didn't know why she had to take out her frustration on him. He didn't do anything to her all, yet she still let her stresses get the best of her.

She didn't know where her favorite manga was, but she knew she had it till the last period, where that other guy always messes with her. Maybe she left it and she freaked out over nothing.

  _Why did I tell at him? It wasn't his fault that he found out about my..."secret." I shouldn't have been looking at my arms to see if the bruises were faded away or not._

She entered the last room she had her manga at and looked all around. She couldn't find it. She sat down in a desk and put her hands over her face and tried her hardest to not cry.

"What's the problem Natsuki? Lost something?" A taunting voice said at the front door. She looked up and saw the man that bullies her along with 2 of his buddies.

"What do you want?" She said. The man chuckled. 

"Looks like you don't want Ishiro to give you this back." One of his buddies said. She looked at them and saw the man named Ishiro holding her manga,  _Parfait Girls._

Natsuki's eyes lit up immediately. "How did you get that? Give it back!" She walked up to him and tried to get the book back, but he held it up high so she couldn't.

"You want this back, you have to do something for us." He said in a unusual tone.

"What do you want from me?" She asked angrily.

"Well, you see, me and my friends here have a thing for girls that are short, so...I think you know where I'm going with this. You do that for us, and I'll give you back this piece of junk." Ishiro said.

Natsuki looked at him with terrified, yet angry eyes. She spat in his face and ran out the other door in the room. "Get back here bitch!" She heard him scream behind her.

She kept on running until she found a bathroom. She ran into one of the stalls and locked the door. Soon, she hears footsteps coming inside. "We know you're here. Might as well come out and we may go easy on you." She kept quiet and heard them approaching her stall.

"Get out of there! You will pay bitch!" She heard them pounding on the stall door. "Fine! Guess we have to do this the hard way!" Ishiro said. She heard him slamming the door.

_Please, just stop. I have to go through so much already with my father. I don't want to be hurt anymore. Please go away. How will I be the same after this?_

"That won't do you any good, so you might as well stop." Natsuki heard a familiar voice say. It's familiar, but the tone and demeanor is so...dark. They stop beating on the door and look at the voice.

"Who the hell are--oh, you must be her lover, right?" Ishiro said. The voice chuckled.

"Lover? No. Friend? Not mine, but his." It said.

"Who the hell are you talking about? You know what? Nevermind. Leave before we have to hurt you." Out from the crack in the stall, she sees Ishiro pulling out a pair of brass knuckles and put them on.

"Hurt me? Please. You can't hurt me. No one can!" She heard someone getting punched and throw to the ground and another person being thrown into a mirror as glass shatters. "Now it's your turn."

She saw Ishiro fighting a figure, but was unable to see who it was he was fighting. It looks like Ishiro is winning in a way as he punches the figure in the face. Suddenly, the figure grabs his fist as Ishiro throws a punch.

"No one touches Ĥ̵̛̩̔̌̃͌͌͒͝͝Ÿ̷̳̣́͒́̏͛͛́́̄̀̓̃͝D̶̈͌͛̆̇̋ͅȨ̸̛̬̲̠̠̰̞̪͍̦̏̈́̈́̂͑̍̔̾͘!!"

She couldn't hear what the figure said last. It was as if she went dead for a split second. As soon as she was able to hear, all she heard was Ishiro being thrown into the wall in front of her. The figure punched him multiple times until he stopped to look at the others.

"Now, you people are not usually like the people I go after, but this time, I'll make an exception." He slid Ishiro to the others. "Leave and don't come back. When I return, you will d̸̝̆̃̈́̓į̵̜̌e̵͎̟͎̅̂̅̎̽͊̃͘̚͜͠."

She heard footsteps scatter out the door. She was too afraid to see who it was that just basically saved her. As she was about to reach for the latch, she heard grunting and heavy breathing. A cracking noise was made during this. After a few seconds, she heard only heavy breathing, almost as if the person was having a panic attack.

She slowly opened the door to see who it was.

...

...

 __She gasped. "Oh my God."

 


	10. He Is Perfect

We get to my house but before I enter, I see Kyle stop at the front steps. I can see the worry on his face. I walk up to him. "Kyle, it will be fine. Trust me." I give him a small kiss before quickly entering my house.

I walk into the living room to see Mom and Dad sitting there. "Honey, is everything alright?" Mom asked. I smile at her and sit down. Soon, Kyle enters inside the living room. I hope they don't judge him for this.

"So, I think I should start off with I'm sorry. My behavior last time I was here was unacceptable. That being said, there is some things you must know about me. It's not going to be easy to admit this, but if it makes Monika happy, then that's all that matters.

"To start, I have had really bad depression for most of my life. It was already hard for me to get through, but my mind made up another personality of me that I called Sebastian, which I know isn't real, but my depression makes what he saids real.

"This has been going on for many years till recently, it has started to slow down. But that doesn't mean that it still is bad." He looks at his sleeves. "This next bit is really bad. Please forgive me and know that this will never happen again."

I look at them to see the look of sympathy on their faces. I know that they feel bad for him. Kyle lifts up his sleeves and I hear my parents gasp from the sight. I smile to show how proud I am of him.

"The pressure was becoming too much. So when I couldn't handle it anymore, I did this to myself. I hate that I went this low, but I didn't want to show anyone my problems. I fear that they would not feel the same anymore. I'm sorry for having to show you and tell you this, but I needed you to know what is wrong with me."

They sit in silence for a minute. I'm worried that they may think different of him. I know that no matter what happens, I will help Kyle with everything I can. "I'm sorry for you Kyle. Why haven't you told your parents about this?" Dad asked.

"They ran off on me when I was still in elementary school. Even if I knew where they were, they wouldn't care. They only care about when their next hit of drugs is. The only person I even told that was remotely my family was my childhood friend Sayori."

"What are you going to do about this?" Mom asked.

"The only thing I can do: get help. I don't know where to start, but I know that telling people is the best place to begin. I did this today because I really care about your daughter. She is the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. I want to make sure that she stays happy, no matter what." Kyle said.

Hearing him say that makes my heart skip a beat. Just hearing him express how much he cares about me makes me happy. "Kyle, do you want to stay for dinner tonight?" Dad asked.

"That would be nice. Thank you." Kyle smiles with a smile that has actually ment something for the first time. "I hope you forgive me."

Dad gets up and puts his hand on Kyle's shoulder. "Kyle, if we judged you because of your problems, we would hate ourselves. One thing I learned is to never judge a book by it's cover." 

"I told you that part dad." I say laughing. Dad chuckles a bit.

"You did honey. You sure did." He looks at Kyle. "Well, would you like to help?" Kyle nods and follows him to the kitchen.  Me and Mom sit in the living room, talking. While I was talking to Mom, I see Kyle and Dad chatting and getting along as well.

"Honey, you remember what happened that night?" She asked. I nod. "Well, when we called the police and told them about the events that happened, they found security footage of that same person that did that."

She sighed like she didn't want to say anything else. "Mom, what's wrong?" I asked.

"It was Kyle. He caused a bar fight a few blocks away from a store, which he broke a window display of a trench coat, top hat and cane and stole them. I'm guessing the only way they didn't find out it was Kyle was his appearance. Particularly, his eyes."

_I know what she was talking about. Those crimson red eyes with that grin._

Dad calls us to the kitchen, so I assume that dinner is done. After taking a bite form what he and Kyle had made, I am filled with suprised. "Kyle, I didn't know that you can cook. I'm quite impressed." I said. He smiles at me.

The next hour is us cutting up and enjoying ourselves. I can that Kyle is having a great time, which I am glad to see. I have honestly never see  this side of him, but I quite enjoy it. 

"Oh Kyle, I forgot. I was going to give you something." Dad said. He walks upstairs and we wait for him in the living room. He comes back with his favorite guitar and gives it to Kyle. "Why don't you play that song for us?"

Kyle goes ahead and plays a song called  _Save Yourself._ As he plays the song through the guitar, I see the pure emotion on his face and through the voice. I can tell it by the way I play piano. It is almost like he is enveloped by his thoughts.

"Well, how was it?" He asked, breaking us from our stunned trances.

 "I'm at a lost of words." Dad saids. We all nod in agreement. After that, we continue to chat for a few hours. 

"Well, I guess I better get home. Thanks for having me." He saids. We wave as he leaves the house. As he walks off, I call out to him and walk up to him and grab his hand.

"Thanks for what you did today. I know it must have been difficult, but I hope that you feel better now." I say. I can already feel the blush creeping on my face. I start to let go but Kyle doesn't let go. "Uh, Kyle..."

"I love you so much." As soon as he said that, he pulls me in for a kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck as if I'm holding onto him. He has a way of being passionate.

After several seconds, we break from the kiss. I breath heavy from the experience. I giggle as I feel my face becomes red. "Goodnight Kyle." I say with a sweet smile.

"Goodnight beautiful." He saids. I giggle as I enter my house. After I close the door and go upstairs, I lay on my bed, still smiling. I haven't felt this happy in a long time, especially with someone else. I can't wait till tomorrow. I think I will wear my black dress to his house, for something special.


	11. A Day Of Suprises

I woke up early to look my best that I could. I am so excited for today that I sort of outdid myself in a way. Not really outdid, but sort of made myself look more...I guess it would be called "different." I got my favorite dress and made my way with the supplies to his house.

When I get there, I knock on his door with more confidence than I usually do. "Hey Kyle, how are you doing?" I ask. Kyle looks at me stunned. I can see that he sort of outdid himself too.

"My God." He said.

I look around me to see if there is something wrong. "What? Is something wrong?" I ask.

"You look so beautiful every time I see you." He responds.

I giggle and blush from his comment. "Well, I try to look my best for the ones I love." I tell him. It seems as if he broke from a trance, he grabs the stuff that I was still holding and led me up to what is presumably his bedroom. "So are you ready to get started?"

"I really don't know what we are suppose to be doing for the festival." He said.

"We are just making a few more decorations and checking Sayori's work on the pamphlets." I said. I also let out a little comment after that. "Maybe after that, we could do something...fun." 

"O-ok. Sounds like a plan." He said. I hope he got the hint that I was trying to drop on him. Nonetheless, I show him what we are doing with the poster. 

"Its really simple. Just put glue into words that you think would represent the club in a good way and pour this glitter over it. See?" He looks at my example to see the word "Love" on it.

"Would 'love' best describe the club?" He asked. I guess he caught onto why I wrote it. Either way, I answer without a care in the world.

"No. I wrote it for you because that's how I feel." I told him with a smile. With that, we continue to make progress on the posters. Even if I'm a fast worker, he is doing a fair job at it. "Looks like we are almost done. How is it going Kyle?" I ask.

"Its fine." He said. He looks at me as if he finally noticed something. "Monika, your dress..."

I look down and see I have glitter on my dress, specifically around my chest area. "No, not my favorite dress. I hope it is able to wash off."

"Don't worry, I'll get a towel for that." He gets up and ima minute later, he brings a hot, damp hand towel and hands it to me.

_He'll definitely get the hint of what I'm trying to do after this. I could easily get this off, but I wonder if he will._

"I don't think I'll be able to get it from this angle. Can you help me with this?" I ask. He takes the towel and carefully gets the glitter off. I look at him and see his face is burning up. It's so cute to see him this nervous.

He takes the towel and cleans off the side of my face. I guess I had some there as well without noticing it. It feels so...comforting when he does this. He starts to retract his hand, but I grab his wrist. 

"Just...can you hold it there for a little longer? It feels nice." He doesn't deny as he leaves his hand beside my face. The warmth of the towel and him gives me a weird feeling. I stare at his gentle eyes looking at me.

_The way he is right now...it's so distracting. I don't even want to do anything else. I just want him to hold me close. I just want him to show me how much he loves me. I just...want to kiss him._

I suddenly notice my face is a lot closer to his. He doesn't act, so I can only assume he is not ready for anything that I was thinking. "S-sorry Kyle. I just...got a lit-"

I get cut off and thrown away as he kisses me. I squeal from the initial suprise, but it turns to a moan because of how much I wanted this. He quickly gets up to his feet, caring me up with him and lays on the bed with me in his arms, still kissing. 

We stop for breathe, but I don't want to stop and neither does he. We continue to kiss while stopping for breaths. I am so happy that we are doing this. But is this really something we should be doing?

My thoughts are stopped by knocking downstairs. We stop kissing and make our way downstairs. Kyle has an agitated look on his face, which I understand very well.

Kyle opens the door and is greeted by a woman and a man. "Hey there Kyle, how are you doing?" I can see Kyle's face glimmer with anger. Is that his...parents?

"What the fuck are you doing here Ishiro and Elyssa? What hellhole did you get dragged out of?" He said, which made his parents looked shocked. He looks back at me to see I'm far away and locks the door as he closes it when he gets outside. I walk near the window to hear the conversation.

How dare you say something like that?! We are your parents! We raised you!" Ishiro said.

"Wow! You raised a child for 8 fucking years. BRAVO!" Kyle said, clapping. "And what happens then? You ran the fuck away from me! I had to raise myself, you trailer park rejects!"

Even though he told me this, it still hurts to hear. The fact that these people came from nowhere only will make his depression worse. "What are we suppose to do? We didn't have any money to take care-" Elyssa starts to speak, but Kyle interrupts her.

"You used it for fucking drugs! Your nothing but a bunch of fucking shitty parents!" He screams at them.

"We are shitty!? You're the one to talk, you fucking disgrace of a child! We got called by police to try to find you!" Ishiro said.

_What? How and why? I figure they would try to arrest them, not be called down here because of Kyle, of all people._

"What the hell are you talking about? You should be arrested, you fucking junkies!" Kyle yells at them. I saw Ishiro smack him to the ground and see Elyssa pull a gun at him. I am filled with anger and fear at the same time.

_I swear to God, if you even think about hurting him, I will hurt you. I don't care what I have to do, but I will hurt you fuckers if you even think about hurting him._

"We know that! But we won't get a worse charge than you! One of those kids you attacked got out in a coma, 2 won't be able to walk the right way again, and one is paralyzed from his waist down!" She screams.

Kyle got up from the ground. 

"I didn't do that! Never!"

"Oh really? Then who Kyle?" Ishiro asks.

"That would be me." I hear a familiar voice say. I suddenly recognize that voice, still fresh on my mind. The voice from a few nights ago. Sebastian, Kyle's altered personality. "I did that and with pleasure. I wouldn't want the one he loves to be hurt."

_Why does he say that in that way? Did he really do that for me? But he still hurt Kyle badly, so I won't forgive him that easy._

"What...the...fuck...are you?!" I can hear Ishiro's voice cut up form fear in his sentence. He pulls out his own gun.

"What am I? I am Sebastian, and I am free." He grabs Elyssa's gun and throws it to the side. I open the door to see the rest of what is going on. Before Ishiro can pull the trigger on his, Kyle tackles him to the ground, knocking the gun to the ground.

"You...bastard. You did this to me. Now you will feel my anger!" Kyle punches Ishiro. I can tell he is letting his rage out, as I see his punches are getting harder. Before I know it, 10 seconds had past, and he was covered in blood.

"You bastard! Die!" Elyssa screams facing Kyle. I let my own anger out as I punch her in the face, knocking her out first punch. 

"Your not touching him. Not ever." I say. I look at Sebastian, to see the red in his eyes. I give him a dirty look. "So, your Sebastian. The thing that has tortured him for years?"

"That was a different part of me." He said. Before he can say anything else, I cut him off.

"Doesn't matter. What matters is that you still did it, with no remorse." I said. I have so much anger from knowing that I'm staring at the person that hurt the person I love for many years. I see his eyes change to yellow afterwards and Kyle walks over to me, calming me down.

After the cops have arrested them and took them away, I kept staring at Sebastian. I still am filled with anger that he is around to where I can see him. He looks similar to Kyle, but I really know what he looks like, and that I can't forget. I give him a dirty look while he and Kyle talk. After a couple of minutes, Kyle walks up to me, which puts a smile on my face.

"Sorry that you had to see that. I hope this doesn't change anything between us." Kyle said.

"It doesn't. I just hope your okay." I say. Kyle chuckles.

"Make sure  _I'm_  okay? You just knocked out my mother cold." He takes my hand and looks at it. "I hope your hand doesn't bruise because of that." I smile at him before giving him my passionate kiss. 

I stop after a little but before we break apart. "I'll see you at the festival." I say. I hug him before I walk off. I am happy for what tomorrow may bring. There is only one thing I have to worry about: Sebastian.

For what I see, he is the most unusual person I have ever seen...if that is what you can even call him. One second, he has red eyes, and the next he has yellow eyes. Also, his usual outfit was on when he had those damned eyes, but when he had yellow eyes, his outfit changed. Will he change his personality or will he stay the same he is?


	12. Conflict With Sebastian

Waking up early, I try to forget about Sebastian and the fact that he is around now. I doubt that he will join the club, so I can't worry to much. I want to believe that he is a good person, but knowing what he had done, how can I forgive that? My thoughts are interrupted when I get a text from Kyle on my phone.

_Kyle: Hey beautiful. Just letting you know that I got the posters, so you can make your way to school with no strain._

_Me: Thank you Kyle. Your such a sweetheart._

_Kyle: I would do anything for you._

_Me: Ehehe...I'm blushing so much right now._

_Kyle: Bet you look so cute right now._

_Me: Ok, I'll see you at the clubroom. Love you._

_Kyle: You 2._

_Kyle, I'm so glad that I waited for you, because I am so happy right now. Even with the problems you have, I will stick by your side. Hmm...maybe I should make a song out of this._ _That will have to wait for now. At the moment, I have to get to the club._

I get myself ready and make my way to the clubroom. When I get there, I see Yuri and Natsuki kissing. "Well, nice to see what you two love birds have done to the room." I said, breaking the two apart.

The room has a nice atmosphere to it, like it welcomes anyone who enters the room. The smell of Jasmine oil is faint, but detectable. Probably because I can mainly smell Natsuki's cupcakes.

"You seem extremely happy today. What's the reason?" Natsuki asks.

"Oh nothing. Maybe it's because I am Kyle's girlfriend now." I boast. Yuri and Natsuki look at me suprised.

"Really? I'm so happy for you Monika. I know how much you have liked him, so it would only be right for you to be with him." Yuri said.

After a little while, Kyle, Sayori and...Sebastian walks through the door. The girls notice him immediately, but I keep staring at him with anger. I have never gotten so angry, so much, so fast until I saw him. They talk to him, but I don't say a thing.

Kyle walks up to me and I change my mood instantly. "Hey Kyle, I see you brought all of our stuff. Want to help me set it up?" I ask him.

"No problem with that." Kyle saids. We walk up to the back and I begin to hang up the posters. I pull up a desk and hang more up top. Eventually, I finish with them. "That looks really nice." 

I look up to see what I have done. I smile by how well they look. "So, you got the poem you are performing?" I ask.

"Yeah, I got it in my ba-" He stops as he suddenly realizes something. "Oh no. I think I forgot it."

Sebastian chuckles a bit. "Yeah, you did, but don't worry. I picked it up before we left. You were so fixated on your girlfriend, you forget to get it."

Kyle gets a little bit embarrassed, but is grateful. "Thanks Sebastian. That means a lot." It's at this point that I notice that he has his own poem. "You actually wrote a poem?" Kyle asked. 

"Of course I did. If I wanted to join the club, then I might as well partake in some of the activities in it." He responds. I am in shock and disbelief.

_I wasn't expecting him to join the club. Out of all the other people I expected, he is the very last one I expected. Just how much am I going to handle with him?_

I decide to break the weird tension. "Okay everyone! Let's start this thing!"

* * *

Finally, the festival is over and I am chatting with people. As I do so, I see Sebastian leave the room. I can only think that he will be here for a while. Just what is he thinking?

After a little while, I leave the clubroom without anyone looking. I felt as if I needed to practice the song that I have thought up for Kyle. As I walk down the hallway, I saw Sebastian walking back to the clubroom.

"Hey Monika, where are-" I ignore him as I walk past him. I have no business with him. "Listen to me!" He yells out behind me. I turn around and give him an angry expression. "I know you hate me for what I did to Kyle, even though I never wanted to, but this won't make things better for any of us because of the past."

_He honestly has the nerve to say that?! After what he has done to Kyle and Kyle still forgiving him? Kyle may be able to forgive easily, but not me!_

"You made him cut himself! You tortured him to the point he nearly never would have came to the club. You almost took away our happiness." I yell at him. I'm shocked by what I hear next. 

"That wasn't me! How many fucking times am I going to say it!? I'm different and if you really want to know, I was planning on jumping off the fucking roof so you can be happy with him. Even though I have a interest in one person in particular, I put you and him ahead of my actual desires. I want to feel love, but if making you guys happy means me being nonexistent, then I'll fucking do it!"

_Oh my God. Did I hear that he about to kill himself just so Kyle and me can be happy? He has a particular interest in someone, but he wants me and Kyle to be happy? I at least have to know who it is._

"Who is it?" I ask.

"S-s-Sayori." He stammered.

"How much?" I ask. He shoots me an confused look. "How much do you love her?"

"I haven't even been alive for 48 hours and I'm already dreaming about her. I'm sure it's just stupid feeling that I'm developing early." He replied.

Considering what I have heard from Sayori's poem today, it definitely sounds like she may be developing feelings for him as well. "You actually have a chance with her, so don't screw it up. If you hurt her, I'll fucking kill you." I say with a serious tone.

"I won't. I have no intention." He said. With that, I make my way to the music room. I lose time as I practice the song.

I hear a knock on the door. "Hey Monika." I hear Kyle say. I get terrified by how long he may have heard me.

 "K-Kyle! What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Well, you were running late again, so I figured you must have been here." He said. I look at the time and hurry to rush the papers into the seat.

"Geez, some president I am right? Running late to my own club?" I said.

"Don't worry to much about it honey, it will be fine." He said. He realized what he said as fast as I did. I can't lie, I liked when he called me "honey." Nonetheless, we make our way back to the clubroom. I honestly can't wait for it to be over so I can talk to Kyle more.


End file.
